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📖 10 min read
A compassionate, practical checklist for the first 30 days.
📋 Table of Contents
If you're reading this, you've likely just lost someone important to you. We're sorry. Right now, everything might feel overwhelming — and that's completely normal. You don't need to figure it all out today. This guide will walk you through what needs to happen, gently and at your own pace.
Take a breath. The very first hours are about the immediate essentials — nothing more. Most things can wait, even if it doesn't feel that way right now.
If the death occurs at home: Call 911 (or your local emergency number). If your loved one was under hospice care, call the hospice nurse instead — they'll guide you through everything. A medical professional needs to officially pronounce the death and will help arrange transport.
If the death occurs at a hospital or care facility: The staff will handle the pronouncement and paperwork. They'll ask you about a funeral home — if you don't have one chosen yet, it's okay to say you need time. Most facilities can hold your loved one while you decide.
The first week is when some practical matters start to need attention. But remember — grief isn't linear, and neither is this process. Do what you can, when you can.
Order death certificates. You'll need more than you think — typically 10 to 15 certified copies. The funeral home usually handles ordering these for you. Every bank, insurance company, and government agency will want an original certified copy, and some won't return them.
Make key notifications:
By the second and third week, you'll start dealing with more complex matters. This is where having a plan — or a tool like Settled — really helps keep things organized.
Probate. If your loved one had a will, it typically needs to be filed with the local probate court. This is the legal process that validates the will and authorizes the executor to act on behalf of the estate. If there's no will, the court will appoint an administrator. Our estate settlement guide walks through the full probate process.
You'll need to collect quite a few documents during the settlement process. Don't panic — you don't need them all at once. But knowing what you're looking for helps.
Dealing with finances after a death can feel daunting, especially if you weren't involved in your loved one's financial life. Take it one account at a time.
Bank accounts. Joint accounts typically pass to the surviving owner automatically. Individual accounts will be frozen once the bank is notified and will require Letters Testamentary to access. Don't close accounts until all automatic payments have been redirected and outstanding checks have cleared.
Retirement accounts. 401(k)s, IRAs, and pensions pass to named beneficiaries, not through the will. Contact each plan administrator with a death certificate. Beneficiaries will have options for how to receive the funds — don't rush this decision, as there are tax implications.
Investment accounts. Brokerage accounts may have transfer-on-death (TOD) designations. If not, they'll go through probate. Contact the brokerage with a death certificate and Letters Testamentary.
We put this section near the end, but it might be the most important one. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and settling someone's affairs while grieving is genuinely one of the hardest things a person can do.
Grief affects your ability to concentrate, make decisions, and manage stress. That's not weakness — it's biology. Be patient with yourself. If you read something three times and it still doesn't make sense, that's okay. Come back to it tomorrow.
Things that help:
Settled was built for exactly this moment. We take the overwhelming checklist of "things you need to do" and break it into small, manageable steps — personalized to your situation.
You're already doing something brave by looking for guidance. Let Settled help you take the next step.
We'll walk you through every step, one at a time.